thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
