No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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