Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
