maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
