I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
