This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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