I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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