Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
