i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
