I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
