Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??