she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.