they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
