Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
