she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
