i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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