So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
