summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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