I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
