I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
