In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
