hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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