I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
