i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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