I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
