Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
