my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
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I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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