My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
