Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
