dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
