Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize