so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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