She is in my trunk
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
