ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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