When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
