Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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