You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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