Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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