2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
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Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.