Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.