last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
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the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning