Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
