And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.