Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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