At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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