try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
