yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
