The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this will be a night to untag.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My ass is underappreciated
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
