Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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