How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can text with my tongue
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dick very happy bro
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
