i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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