is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
