Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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