Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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