I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
