I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
