i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
