i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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