he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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