I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
