we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
