Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
