the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
