Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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