Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
